Christianity is the most prominent religion in the Caribbean, like many I grew up in a Christian household/family which meant I was christened as a baby, went to church EVERY SUNDAY, and understood that God is the creator of the universe. As I grew older, I began to question my belief system, if God is real why can’t I see or hear him?
It also didn’t help that I was experiencing a lot of hardship and struggles in life during that period. Why did a God who loves me unconditionally want to see me suffer and endure these unbearable anguishes of life, I was confused and after a while I stopped praying, believing, and talking to God.
Things stayed like that for one year maybe more, I refused to attend church and never entertained the thought that God existed I just continued to live my life until an attempted suicide landed me in the hospital. I took 50-70 paracetamol intending to die but I didn’t, after 3 or 5 days of getting my stomach pumped and horrendous hospital food, I was back at home left with the aftermath of my decisions and actions.
My disbelief in God stayed until a few months later I just started praying, I don’t know why or how I just did, and I never stopped.
My life has changed drastically since then, I have had unbearable moments, but my faith has allowed me to overcome every one. I have had good moments that made me smile and appreciated the bad ones too, now I talk to God about everything, I read my bible to gain a better understanding but I don’t agree with what the bible says about a woman’s role in a marriage or LGBTQ persons.
I choose to believe that God loves unconditionally (yeah I believe it now), he doesn’t judge and is always forgiving, therefore, that is how I have chosen to be. If you don’t believe in God that is a personal choice, I would never force my beliefs upon you, and if you are from a different religion the sentiments remain the same.
Guys, I’ve been selected to participate in a ‘Young Women in Leadership’ 3 weeks program by the Caribbean Women in Leadership (CIWiL) organization, I am super excited because when I applied I was worried I wouldn’t get accepted due to the number of applicants but I received the email on Friday yay! I wrote Adulting in September when everything felt like it was falling apart, now I can say October has been good to me in many ways. I have an update for A Serendipity Moment, college stuff to talk about, and maybe a few rants for November so buckle up!
Thank you for reading! Have a good week everyone