AN EMOTIONAL MESS

Yesterday I spent 6 minutes in the staff bathroom listening to Bad Bunny x Jhay Cortex ‘Dakiti’ and crying my eyes out then went back to work as if my heart wasn’t breaking. Today I’m listening to Dakiti again and writing a blog about how heartbroken I am while I’m feeling like an emotional mess but everyone around me thinks I’m fine, I guess the façade is working.

He would call me a bruja (witch) because he thinks I cast spells on him (it’s a joke he knows I love to laugh at) but today I think he has cast a spell on me, today I want to cry my eyes out and today I don’t know how to be okay. The façade stays intact until the sun sets and the night approaches then after the sky turns dark, the memories float around in my head, my eyes start tearing up and I start playing Bad Bunny.

10:00 P.M. is when I lose it completely because that’s our hour, it’s when we do the craziest things, it’s the hour when I tell him I’m mad at him and he tells me he’s coming over. It’s the hour when he starts telling me about his dad and all the things from his past, it’s the hour when I give him forehead kisses that I hope ease the pain and thoughts in his head. It’s our hour but there is no us and today this makes me sad.

I don’t want to reply, I can’t reply, I won’t reply

Today I’m an emotional mess, today letting go is a B-I-T-C-H, today I just want to cry to Bad Bunny x Jhay Cortex ‘Dakiti’ and watch Pretty Woman and every romance movie I genuinely like. However, I have a Leo Club meeting today so the crying will have to wait until I get home, I’ll be staying away from the club’s bathroom just to be safe.

I hope y’all are having a better weekend than I am!

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